Best of both worlds.
That’s what I’m often told I have.
I get to stay at home with my daughter, but also work from home.
And I suppose it is the best of both worlds. I totally thought it was when I first decided to do this WAHM (Work at Home Mom) thing back before my daughter was born. Now a couple years in and I can tell you it is indeed awesome, but it is still hard.
I often feel guilty admitting working part-time while being a stay at home has been a struggle for me.
Because I do have the best of both worlds in a way, and I totally get and appreciate that – I’ve found a way to manage having a career and being at home the majority of the time with my daughter….but it’s still hard.
Because like anything with motherhood, it’s a balancing act.
If you’re currently figuring out this work at home thing with little kids, let me tell you – it’s ok to admit it’s hard. (And if you work full-time or stay at home full-time with kids, it’s also ok to admit it’s hard, though you probably already know that!)
Here’s why you should admit being a WAHM mom isn’t a blissful existence all day, every day:
- Vulnerability helps you connect to others and as a mom of little kids, you need to have connections with other moms. (Don’t believe me? Read Brene Brown’s potentially life-changing The Gift of Imperfection.)
- Telling your spouse you’re having a hard time juggling things means he is more likely to help out around the house.
- Because when you’re crying at 10 p.m. because the house is a mess, and your deadline is fast approaching, and you felt like your child watched way too much TV that day so you could finish up a work project, you need to remind yourself that it’s hard and you’re doing the best you can.
But the main reason – because it is freaking hard! If you’re like me, working from home is about a gazillion times more difficult than you thought it would be. I have perpetual guilt that I so often check work stuff on my phone while playing with Lulu. I’m often anxious that I’m one stressed out week away from losing all my clients and then how in the world will I ever replace them because when do I ever have time for networking these days?? Or I worry that a client is going to want to jump on a call when our nanny isn’t here or my daughter isn’t napping, and then how the heck will I deal with that? (Right now the answer usually is Finding Dory, and then crossing my fingers it keeps her attention span at least until Dory makes it to the Marine Life Institute – yes, I have seen this movie more times than I want to admit.)
I often feel simultaneously pulled in both directions — work and motherhood — at the same time, and it can be exhausting. Some days I think it would be a heck of a lot easier if I could just lose my ambition and forget about my career, and then become the Pinterest-worthy mom I thought I would be back when I was reading those baby books while I was pregnant and clueless.
But then I remember how hard I worked to get to this point in my freelance career and that it will all be worth it when Lulu and any future siblings are in elementary school and I can focus more heavily on work again without having been out of the industry for a long time. (And I do love those eight sanity saving hours every week when our nanny is here.)
So then I remind myself: I do have the best of both worlds right now….
It’s just hard.
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